Wish I were a killer samurai prostitute chick

Since before it came out, I have been yearning to go watch 'Sin City', but it wasn't till the last week that I got desperate.

I guess it all started last Monday when I walked into class early for once in my life. Being early has it's downfalls and it's luxuries. I had to do the Phoebe-run the whole way to school to be on time and was sweating like a pig by the time I got there (even though pigs technically don't sweat except on their noses). On top of this, I was trying to carry on small talk with Novalee, a graceful, 5'10" blonde thing who weighs next to nothing and looks like she belongs in Rivendale or should be floating around in Lothlorien terrorizing hobbits.

"So what did you do this weekend?" I asked her while inconspicuously trying to mop up the sheen on my forehead and hoping like heck no one could tell how red Iwas.
"Oh, I watched a movie."
"Oh cool! What movie?" I ran through all the movies she would possibly want to watch and decided in my head it was either some Nicholas Sparks movie like 'The Notebook' or 'A Walk to Remember' or something equally girly and innocent.

"I rented 'City of Angels'." she said in her little tinkly voice.

Close enough. Not quite Nicholas Sparks but definitely close enough.

"That's the movie where Meg Ryan gets hit by a bus on her bike at hte end right? Oh! and that guy from NYPD Blue runs naked into the ocean. That's all I remember from that movie."
"Um, yeah Vivian."
I sat there grimly trying to banish the image of Dennis franz's naked ass bouncing into the sea, grimaced, and then came to. Class was about to start.

"Hey Novaley, you wanna go watch 'Sin City' with me this weekend?"
"Um, what's it about? I kinda wanted to watch 'The Notebook'"
"Oh, Sin City's about a bunch of hookers, strippers and corrupt cops killing each other and stuff. It looks super cool."

She looked like she was about to faint. I told her to relax and said I figured it wasn't her type of movie. I knew I'd pegged her for a Nicholas Sparks fan (not that there's anything wrong with it!).

I turned to Kristen and asked if she might want to go watch the movie. Unfortunately, Kristen is obsessed with ballroom dancing and has a penchant for dance movies and girly movies. She too wanted to watch 'The Notebook'.

I sighed.

5 days passed and it was the class bbq on Saturday evening. I found myself sipping on cider and munching on chops around a fire pit with some of my other classmates. Heather, a lovely curly-haired girl whom I met in Bamfield and somehow ended up in the same vet class as me, was saying, "I want to go watch a movie tonight but I don't know what movie to watch."

"SIN CITY! Come on! It' got naked chicks, blood, gore and Clive Owens, what more could you want?!"
"Um, well, I'm going on a date with this guy and I kinda wanted to watch something more artsy . . . like 'The Notebook.'"

In my head, I was screaming "DOES ANYBODY ELSE BLOODY WANT TO GO WATCH THE FREAKIN 'NOTEBOOK'?!!! GARGGGGGH!!!!!!! HOW CAN THAT POSSIBLY BE MORE ARTSY THAN 'SIN CITY'????!!!!!!"

"Oh, well, that sounds like a nice movie. Novaley and Kristen wanted to see that one too. Actually, I think I'm going to go watch Sin City tonight. Anyone else want to go?"
All around the fire pit, everyone around went "That's the coolest movie!!! . . . but I already saw it." "me too" "me too" "me too" "wasn't that scene with Elijah Wood so creepy?" "Oh yeah!and then that Miho chick was so hot!" "cover your ears Vivian"

There were seven of us (including me) around the fire pit and six people had seen it.

I groaned and tried to look for someone who hadn't seen "Sin City" and who didn't want to watch "The Notebook."

I wandered downstairs in the house and attacked the people hovered around the dessert bar to see if anyone wanted to watch 'Sin city' with me. Finally, two other people did. The third girl wanted to watch 'The Notebook.'

So plans were made and in the end we decided to watch the 9:40pm showing of Sin City. I looked at my watch, it was only 7pm. I had two hours to burn. I went back upstairs, grabbed a burger (made from cows raised by one of my classmates) and then joined the crowd in watching the hostess's dog frantically try to hump the burger guy's dog.

Apparently, the male dog had been frantically chasing the female dog all night and was humping any part of her he could get. Not the most appetizing entertainment but funny as heck. At one point, the female dog wasn't even there anymore and he just stood htere humping the air. Then he chased the female dog all the way over to where I was standing and suddenly,they were humping on my feet. "AAHHHHHHHHHHH GET OFF! GO AWAY! NOT MY JEANS! NOOOOOOO."

Luckily, the humping was brief enough that no bodily fluids were spilled but I still felt my jeans had been tainted. People all around the yard were making cat calls and cheering on the humping dogs. Some of the more empowered girls were yelling to the female dog, "BITE HIM! JUST BITE HIM WHERE IT COUNTS! HE'LL LEARN HIS LESSON!"
Indeed it would have been interesting if she had as the male dog was, at this point, frantically humping the female's head.

Luckily, no small children were about.

Meanwhile, the guys in my class had set up a mini croquet course in the yard and were busy making jumps out of old wooden planks and little styrofoam cutouts. Their games were a bit chaotic as everytime someone hit the ball and it rolled within view of the dogs, they'd stop their humping and both go chasing after the balls and hide them under the bushes.

All in all, it was a fun night and at the end of the party, I drove off to the theatre with the two other people who wanted to watch Sin City and had a rolicking good time jeering at the previews and smelling up our row (we all smelled like the bbq fire pit).

Sin City was a totally cool movie and despite all the blatant and pointless nudity and the whole beating on women thing (which although they made sure they told you it was wrong, they showed a lot of), I enjoyed the film thoroughly. We spent the car ride home imitating Brittany Murphy going, "You fool! You damned fool."

I thought Miho (or whatever her name was) was by far the coolest character and when I got home, I told Gabriel on the phone that I no longer wanted to be a vet but a ruthless, killing, samurai prostitute chick. He didn't seem too keen on the idea.

Ah well. The outfits looked uncomfortable anyhow.

Meanwhile my next new movie to see is "the Hitchiker's Guide to the Galaxy". I love the books and I can't wait for the movie to come out. They even kept in the scene with the falling whale! The movie comes out on my last day of finals!!! Yay!!!
I may wait till I get back to Calgary to watch it, in which case I shall drag any of the willing to go watch it with me.

Unless you want to go watch 'The Notebook', in which case I would have to "make a pez dispenser of you".

Well, I would . . . if I were a killer samurai prostitute chick.