Winter Wonderland my A$$!
There's lots to be said for snow. Snowflakes, skiing, skating, white Christmases, hot chocolate and sleigh riding.
But to get ones car stuck in the F*CKING SNOW almost three times in a day is far too much.
Gabe and I were essentially on our knees digging out snow from under my tires with our hands. My neighbor eventually took pity on us and helped us out. The three of us found ourselves, shoulder to the back bumper, feet struggling to get a grip on the powdery snow and ice, pushing with all our might as if we were giving birth to the world's largest baby-godzilla hybrid. In many respects, that might have actually been easier.
But enough about the f*cking snow.
BLARGH I CAN'T TAKE IT!
There. That's the last of it, I swear.
Life in Saskatoon minus the snow has not been the bad. I got to feed a boreal owl in the exotics ward of the vet college which was the cutest thing i'd ever seen. It was like a mini owl about 4 inches tall and it had a problem with its left eye (which is why it was in the clinics in the first place) which made it look like it was constantly scowling or just very very confused. I had to weight it on one of those little Safeway fresh produce hanging scale things and it kept squirming around until I finally rolled it up in a towel like a spring roll.
I knew my restaurant training would come in handy one day.
In my anatomy labs, I got to dissect a horse head. It felt like that seen in "the Godfather" where the guy wakes up with the horse head in his bed and goes "Aaaah AAAAh aAAAAAAAH". (Actually, I've never seen "the Godfather". . . but I have seen "You've Got mail" which quotes that scene. Haha.)
The problem with the horse heads was that the slaughter plant sent them to the vet school already skinned and placed in these black bloody garbage bags so they were totally gruesome. Then the specimen that I got had its skull smashed in for some odd reason so all the sinuses were filled with blood clots and crap. It was really nasty cus everytime we got through one layer, we'd have to scoop out chunks of blood and I ended up getting them all over my notes and lab jacket.
In my phsyiology labs, we had another terminal lab and at the end, we opened up the chest and stopped the heart by sending out electric shocks all over it (fibrilation) and then we got to do the total ER thing and restart the heart with paddles. "CLEAR! *ZAP* It's still not beating! CLEAR! **ZAP*" We got the heart started again and then it stopped and our prof shouted "Somebody start doing a heart massage!" And since I was closest to the dog (one of the benefits of being short is that you get to stand in front of all the tall kids) so everyone stared at me and I reached my hand in and started massaging the heart with all my might. It started for a bit but stopped again. It eventually died after we injected some potassium chloride. One of my lab partners joked ''Time of Death, 4:27pm". My other partner was like, "Damnit! I wanted to call this one!" I just sat there and went "IT JUST NEVER GETS ANY EASIER!" and melodramatically threw off my gloves.
Our other lab, we got to play with SHEEEEEEEP! Unfortunately for the sheep, we had to learn how to catheterize with them. This one girl in our group was nominated to do the job and she ended up taking about half an hour before she finally got the catheter into the poor sheep. My other group member was holding up the tail for her and he kept going, "BAA-RAM-EWE! BAA-RAM-EWE!" like in the movie Babe. I was holding onto the sheep's head and responded, "That'll do Bill. That'll do." In the end, the girl catherizing was like, "Screw this! Vivian! take my rings!" So she threw off her gloves, took off her wedding rings, gave them to me and did the catheterization barehanded. Our prof walked over and was like "Make sure you use two fingers to stretch it open and then use the other hand to shove the tube in. Do you have enough lube on there?"
Poor sheep.
In other news, I've decided that I am stuck in a bad episode of the Beverly hilbillies. Don't get me wrong, I love Saskatoon (without snow) and the people here, but sometimes, they're just so hick I have to laugh. For example, I walked into class late the other day just as the Bovine club rep was going, "And for those of you who ordered vests and belt buckles for the bovine club fundraiser, those are in. You can pick them up at lunch." Belt buckles?! Vests?!! Only in Saskatoon would those be successful fundraising items.
Then Rob, one of the guys in my class who always wears a cowboy hat and boots and a big belt buckle to school asked me a question in class and it was almost like we weren't speaking the same language. "Vivian, what'd the prof say about *indiscrete drawling*" And I was like, "Pardon? I didn't quite get that."
"What'd she say about asldkfjwoaeiruawte?"
"come again?"
It was like that part in "Team America: World Police" where the Korean terrorist is saying "inevitable" and noone can understand him.
"INEBITABAL!"
"Come again?"
"INEBITABAL!"
And the worst part is that I'm starting to talk like them now. I keep using words like "reckon" and "so I says" and "alls I'm saying is" and "bunnyhugs'". And I found i've started speaking more slowly and with a drawl. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
In the same manner though, the farm people all laugh at the city folk when we sit in class and are like "What's the difference between straw and hay? I thought they were the same thing." Or "Oooooooh. So THAT's a tractor."
Sigh.
Anyhow, take care everyone. Hope the Canadian weather has been treating you all better than it has been treating me and my car. Try not to lick any fence posts and should you ever have to catherise a sheep, remember to aim for the lower hole . . . and don't be shy to get in there real good.
But to get ones car stuck in the F*CKING SNOW almost three times in a day is far too much.
Gabe and I were essentially on our knees digging out snow from under my tires with our hands. My neighbor eventually took pity on us and helped us out. The three of us found ourselves, shoulder to the back bumper, feet struggling to get a grip on the powdery snow and ice, pushing with all our might as if we were giving birth to the world's largest baby-godzilla hybrid. In many respects, that might have actually been easier.
But enough about the f*cking snow.
BLARGH I CAN'T TAKE IT!
There. That's the last of it, I swear.
Life in Saskatoon minus the snow has not been the bad. I got to feed a boreal owl in the exotics ward of the vet college which was the cutest thing i'd ever seen. It was like a mini owl about 4 inches tall and it had a problem with its left eye (which is why it was in the clinics in the first place) which made it look like it was constantly scowling or just very very confused. I had to weight it on one of those little Safeway fresh produce hanging scale things and it kept squirming around until I finally rolled it up in a towel like a spring roll.
I knew my restaurant training would come in handy one day.
In my anatomy labs, I got to dissect a horse head. It felt like that seen in "the Godfather" where the guy wakes up with the horse head in his bed and goes "Aaaah AAAAh aAAAAAAAH". (Actually, I've never seen "the Godfather". . . but I have seen "You've Got mail" which quotes that scene. Haha.)
The problem with the horse heads was that the slaughter plant sent them to the vet school already skinned and placed in these black bloody garbage bags so they were totally gruesome. Then the specimen that I got had its skull smashed in for some odd reason so all the sinuses were filled with blood clots and crap. It was really nasty cus everytime we got through one layer, we'd have to scoop out chunks of blood and I ended up getting them all over my notes and lab jacket.
In my phsyiology labs, we had another terminal lab and at the end, we opened up the chest and stopped the heart by sending out electric shocks all over it (fibrilation) and then we got to do the total ER thing and restart the heart with paddles. "CLEAR! *ZAP* It's still not beating! CLEAR! **ZAP*" We got the heart started again and then it stopped and our prof shouted "Somebody start doing a heart massage!" And since I was closest to the dog (one of the benefits of being short is that you get to stand in front of all the tall kids) so everyone stared at me and I reached my hand in and started massaging the heart with all my might. It started for a bit but stopped again. It eventually died after we injected some potassium chloride. One of my lab partners joked ''Time of Death, 4:27pm". My other partner was like, "Damnit! I wanted to call this one!" I just sat there and went "IT JUST NEVER GETS ANY EASIER!" and melodramatically threw off my gloves.
Our other lab, we got to play with SHEEEEEEEP! Unfortunately for the sheep, we had to learn how to catheterize with them. This one girl in our group was nominated to do the job and she ended up taking about half an hour before she finally got the catheter into the poor sheep. My other group member was holding up the tail for her and he kept going, "BAA-RAM-EWE! BAA-RAM-EWE!" like in the movie Babe. I was holding onto the sheep's head and responded, "That'll do Bill. That'll do." In the end, the girl catherizing was like, "Screw this! Vivian! take my rings!" So she threw off her gloves, took off her wedding rings, gave them to me and did the catheterization barehanded. Our prof walked over and was like "Make sure you use two fingers to stretch it open and then use the other hand to shove the tube in. Do you have enough lube on there?"
Poor sheep.
In other news, I've decided that I am stuck in a bad episode of the Beverly hilbillies. Don't get me wrong, I love Saskatoon (without snow) and the people here, but sometimes, they're just so hick I have to laugh. For example, I walked into class late the other day just as the Bovine club rep was going, "And for those of you who ordered vests and belt buckles for the bovine club fundraiser, those are in. You can pick them up at lunch." Belt buckles?! Vests?!! Only in Saskatoon would those be successful fundraising items.
Then Rob, one of the guys in my class who always wears a cowboy hat and boots and a big belt buckle to school asked me a question in class and it was almost like we weren't speaking the same language. "Vivian, what'd the prof say about *indiscrete drawling*" And I was like, "Pardon? I didn't quite get that."
"What'd she say about asldkfjwoaeiruawte?"
"come again?"
It was like that part in "Team America: World Police" where the Korean terrorist is saying "inevitable" and noone can understand him.
"INEBITABAL!"
"Come again?"
"INEBITABAL!"
And the worst part is that I'm starting to talk like them now. I keep using words like "reckon" and "so I says" and "alls I'm saying is" and "bunnyhugs'". And I found i've started speaking more slowly and with a drawl. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH.
In the same manner though, the farm people all laugh at the city folk when we sit in class and are like "What's the difference between straw and hay? I thought they were the same thing." Or "Oooooooh. So THAT's a tractor."
Sigh.
Anyhow, take care everyone. Hope the Canadian weather has been treating you all better than it has been treating me and my car. Try not to lick any fence posts and should you ever have to catherise a sheep, remember to aim for the lower hole . . . and don't be shy to get in there real good.
posted by Viv at 9:54 p.m.
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Quality Blog.
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