All class, all the time

I had a big presentation to give at the local children's library and usually, I get really psyched about public speaking. This time was different though. I was calm, in control and totally knew what I was talking about. There were kids in the audience and they were totally focussed. Even the adults were getting into it and asking questions! Questions that I KNEW THE ANSWER TO!

After the presentation, I had to drive my two classmates and our education hawk back to the college. I was just driving away after unloading everyone off at the college and feeling pretty great about myself when I almost hit this poor old man out behind the Vet hospital parking lot.

I slammed on the brakes and mouthed a meagre "Sorry!" to the guy. He seemed amused and I motioned to him it was OK to cross. Unfortunately, having almost hit him, my car was kind of in the middle of the cross walk so he motioned me with a sort of "no, you first! I insist!" sort of motion.

I drove through and pulled into one of the "Vet hospital CLIENT PARKING ONLY. NO STUDENT PARKING" stalls and parked my car. Hey, rules are for sissies.

The old man crossed the road and turned back to give me one more amused look.

And then a horrible realisation dawned on me.
That wasn't just some old man.

That was dean Roberts.

That's right. I ALMOST RAN OVER THE DEAN OF THE FRICKIN VET SCHOOL.

I wanted to shrink into the steering wheel of my illegally parked car and die.


That was a few days ago and seeing as I haven't been expelled yet, I take it he didn't recognise me. Or maybe he's just waiting till I finish the horror of finals to break the bad news to me.

Today wasn't much better. I was supposed to feed the wild birds in the exotics ward again today and all seemed to be going well. Our education hawk was a little flighty (especially from my shoddy driving the other day) and as a result, she attacked my head. Not unusual seeing as she seems to attack everyone who wanders into her enclosure, so I didn't think a big deal about it.

The exotics/wildlife vet came wandering into the enclosure to tell me they were transferring the education hawk to a new room in the vet building. He kind of gave me a funny look and I was starting to get uncomfortable.

"What's his problem? Is he checking me out or something? I know my new earrings are a little bit too blue but there is no need to stare! Geez!" I thought to myself.

He stared a bit longer and then offered to show me where the new room was. I had the hawk on my glove and I walked her to the new room without too much incident. People in the hallway were staring but that's not unusual when you have a hawk on your hand.

I got to the place and the vet showed me where to put the hawk. I began to take off her little leg strappy things that attached her to my glove and THE WHOLE TIME, the vet was just staring at me.

I was all nervous and finally got the leg straps off. "Uh, thanks for showing me where the new room was." I mumbled and shot out of the room. That was awkward as heck.

I wandered back across the bulding to the old enclosure and bumped into a few people in there and had a good chat with them. Then I remembered I forgot something in the new room and had to run back in to grab it. The vet guy stared at me again until I bolted out. "Weirdo" I said and wandered out into the hall.

I wandered into the Physiology department to see if my exam marks were up. Two girls in the hallway sort of stared at me as i walked past and I seriously contemplated taking off my earrings. "Maybe they are a bit too blue." I said to myself.

My marks weren't up so I left to go to the locker room to get ready for my lab. Three of my classmates were in there and I had another good chat with them for about 5 minutes. They were all staring at me and my way-too-blue earrings too in this really uncomfortable way.

"HAS THE WORLD GONE MAD?!" I thought to myself after they left.

I had just put on my lab coat and was heading out the locker room door and taking a sip from my water bottle when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and nearly choked.

I had a huge chunk of white downy bird feathers stuck to my left cheek. I'd probably gotten it stuck there when the stupid education hawk attacked my head earlier. I moved in for a closer look. With each slight movement of my head, the inch-long down feathers waved ridiculously back and forth at me in the air currents.

"WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME?!" I pulled it off my face and wanted to melt into the tiles. THAT's why the vet was staring at me. THAT's why the girl in the physiology department had smiled shyly at me as I walked past. THAT's why my classmates had been staring at me all funny while we spoke.

I got over it pretty fast. Afterall, I've had much worse stuff stuck on my face since I've come to vet school. And hey, maybe nobody noticed. Maybe it was my earrings!

Oh who am I kidding? It was like a chunk of feathers the size of a golf ball stuck to my face! BAH!

And that's pretty much my day so far. I have a church choir practice tonight but to be perfectly honest, the songs are all way to high for me to sing. I sound like a choking cat when I sing that high and I end up getting a tension headache if I have to hold a note for longer than two bars. Maybe the director will let me join the tenors . . .

Oh, and before I go, you all have to check this out!!! It's like something out of a science fiction movie!
The marine biologist inside me wonders, "How on earth did that evolve?"
The Asian inside me wonders, "I wonder how it would taste with garlic, butter and green onions?"
And the girly-girl inside me wonders, "How does it manage to keep it all so straight, silky and tangle-free?"

One day. One day I'll know the answer to all three. OK, so maybe not all three - but I'll be damned if I don't find out what shampoo it uses.

Adios everyone!