And I feel likeI'm living the worst day
Over and over again
And I feel like the summer is leaving again
I feel like I'm living the worst day
I feel like you're gone
And every day is the worst day ever

-Simple Plan "Worst Day Ever"


So I'm utterly devastated cus I just got my pathology midterm mark back and I did absolutely craptacularly. I hate how marks affect my mood so much, but it really can't be helped. It's been ingrained into me to base my entire self worth on my marks and if I do badly, I just feel like utter and complete shite. Of the three exams I wrote last week, my pathology midterm was the one that I thought went the best. I'm not sure what I'm going to do when I get my other two marks back.

Actually, aside from exams, my week hasn't been going so well. First of all, I got a giant zit on my forehead which can only be described by one word- CYCLOPIC. Keeping in mind that Cyclops was a big monster with a giant eye in the middle of his forehead who lived in relative isolation and liked to play with sheep and was stupid enough to be tricked by Ulysses, I feel like "cyclopic" is the perfect word to describe me right now.

Then, last night, I was told that I am not as funny as Joanne. And speaking of which, Joanne leaves to go back to England tomorrow which means I'll be all alone and have no one to hang with during the day when I get back for reading week.

Also, I almost puked in pathology lab cus we were cutting up aborted pig fetuses, pig stomachs, crushed pig heads and pig hearts and I ate too much for lunch and then inhaled too deeply in the lab by accident. Some of the fetuses were mummified and all brown and rotting. It was lovely. We were supposed to slice them open with a knife and then cut out there lungs and put them in a bucket of water to see if they would float. The pig stomachs were filled with mucous and blood. We were supposed to take out all the contents and see what their last meals were. I nearly brought up my own stomach contents. I smelled like pig the rest of the day.

And then I had to go to a women's church group meeting where the best part of the night was when the women finally stopped talking about scrap booking (WTF IS SCRAPBOOKING ANYWAYS?!) and went, "well, it's not as though all of us don't have a husband around." And then she realised she'd said the wrong thing and looked over at me and was like, "Well, except . . ."
"except me?"
"yeah."

And finally, I've got a killer pharmacology final exam this Friday for which I have to memorize about 200 different drugs (200 at least, there might be 300, I haven't counted but I'm not exagerrating at all). If my pathology mark is anything to go by, I'm totally going to botch this one up.

So,
Current mood? Haven't felt this suicidal since the time I found out they changed the tandoori chicken pizza recipe on me at Joey Tomatoes
Current song stuck in my head? DIE PATHOLOGY PROFESSORS DIE! YOU'VE BROKEN MY SPIRIT. (actually that's not a real song, but it's been running through my head over and over and after a while, it becomes melodic).
Current food craving? Hot blueberry muffins slathered in butter. Nay, drowning in butter.
Current beverage craving? B.E.E.R. BEER. LOTS AND LOTS OF BEER. or a triple shot of espresso. Either one. Just hook it to my veins.
Current love interest? My Virology professor (sorry Gabe). I just bumped into him on the stairs and HE apologised to ME for me bumping into him. Then he swung by my world vets fundraising event and donated more than anybody else and then looked all concerned and was like, "is that enough?" It was so sweet! That's the nicest thing that's happened to me all day.
Current hair colour? Raspberry pink. But if I had mood-reflecting colour-changing hair dye, it would be JET BLACK BLACK BLACK. Say, that's a cool idea! Mood hair dye! It would change colour according to your mood! I should just quit vet school and go invent that and make millions and then take my millions and spike the water supply for the vet college with Prozac so that no vet student ever feels this horrible about their marks ever again.
Current place I'd rather be? Any other freaking place but here.

In summary:
1) I'm monstrous and stupid.
2) I'm not funny.
3) Joanne's ditching me.
4) I need ten each of beer, coffee and blueberry muffins, but I don't think it's gonna happen any time soon.

Adios everyone. Am off to study pharmacology aka dig a hole in the S. Saskatchewan river. Have I mentioned that I hate school?

Peace out.


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Alright, so since last I spoke to you, I've mellowed out and feel a lot better.
The reason? One of many things:

1) My pathology prof said he'd raise my mark 3 points cus i went to talk to him. Lovely old man. Wouldn't think ill of him for the world. And to think I was feeling homicidal towards him just hours ago.

2) I finally ate something today (woke up at 8:06am for my 8am class so i was running a bit late and skipped breakfast- plus I have no groceries left again)

3) I finally had coffee. Not the triple espresso I was hoping for but good enough. I also treated myself to a blueberry muffin from the buffeteria. Unfortunately, they ran out of regular blueberry muffins so I got a bran blueberry muffin.

ASIDE: Bran. Somehow, bran reminds me of chicken and pig feed so it kind of ruined my blueberry muffin for me (probably cus they put bran into both chicken and pig feed and I just dissected pig stomach yesterday). That and i was watching a "how to help a pig give birth" video at the time. Something about blood and mucus covered piglets getting pulled out of a pig's vagina that just ruins the appetite.

Either way, i got food into my system, calmed down and am feeling a lot better.

Best be off to study drugs now.