Nocturnal rantings
It's been a while since I've posted and partly, it's cus I literally have no time. The other reason is that I've been in a bit of a funk for the last few months.
Overnights left me brain dead, angry and physically wasted. On my last shift, I nearly drove into oncoming traffic on my way home and fell sleep at almost every stop light. Naturally, I was in too much of a sleep-deprived state to figure out how to pull over on the road and sleep.
I somehow managed to get my ass back to work in 24 hours and spent the next few weeks getting over what I called "overnights jet-lag."
I would be the walking dead all day at work and lay awake in bed at night staring at my ceiling and listening to my neighbors arguing and will myself into a semi-sleep.
It was during one of these insomniac episodes when I was so tired I was almost too tired to sleep that I began to seriously consider not applying for a residency this year.
After working several 24 hours shifts and almost dying, I managed to get a weekend off to go to Maryland to visit my aunt's family and decided once and for all that I am not applying for a residency this year.
So I guess I know for sure what I won't be doing. The question still remains however: what on earth am I doing with my life?
I haven't even sat down and seriously contemplated what the point of putting myself through the rest of this hellish internship is if I don't intend to pursue a residency next year. I guess it leaves the door open for if I want to pursue one in the future.
Anyhow, will try to blog more but who am I kidding? I barely have time for basic personal hygiene.
Overnights left me brain dead, angry and physically wasted. On my last shift, I nearly drove into oncoming traffic on my way home and fell sleep at almost every stop light. Naturally, I was in too much of a sleep-deprived state to figure out how to pull over on the road and sleep.
I somehow managed to get my ass back to work in 24 hours and spent the next few weeks getting over what I called "overnights jet-lag."
I would be the walking dead all day at work and lay awake in bed at night staring at my ceiling and listening to my neighbors arguing and will myself into a semi-sleep.
It was during one of these insomniac episodes when I was so tired I was almost too tired to sleep that I began to seriously consider not applying for a residency this year.
After working several 24 hours shifts and almost dying, I managed to get a weekend off to go to Maryland to visit my aunt's family and decided once and for all that I am not applying for a residency this year.
So I guess I know for sure what I won't be doing. The question still remains however: what on earth am I doing with my life?
I haven't even sat down and seriously contemplated what the point of putting myself through the rest of this hellish internship is if I don't intend to pursue a residency next year. I guess it leaves the door open for if I want to pursue one in the future.
Anyhow, will try to blog more but who am I kidding? I barely have time for basic personal hygiene.
posted by Viv at 5:55 p.m.
2 Comments:
does every vet starting out have such a nightmare experience? Do they all get broken and driven into the ground post-undergrad (vet school)? It just really seems like such a painful experience from what you have shared with us.
I know eh? Doesn't sound like the experience that the program should be offering the students/residents.
Try to slow down a bit, just a tiny bit. Just so you can still keep your sanity :)
X-Mas is just around the corner, so try to look forward to that. Are you coming home for the holidays?
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